Sometimes I just miss you..

 

January 31, 2011

The saddest part of this whole ordeal is that I care enough to cry.. and you don't care at all. 

When you see how much you've hurt someone, does it make it easier to walk away and deal with your hurt? or do you just want to rush up to them and throw your arms around their neck and hug back all the hurt and pain you've both been caused by whatever ordeal you've gone through? When you spend years being a best friend to someone you've been told all along is just using you for when his girlfriend can't talk, does it make it easier to say good-bye? Does it make it easier to gradually fall away, or to have a huge confrontation and fight it all out? 

I wish you had noticed when I wanted to talk to you, I wish you hadn't made me cry just now, I wish I didn't need cheering up, I wish you were smarter to know that she is not the only person in your life, I wish you knew I care for you more than she does, I wish I didn't care for you, I wish I didn't miss you as desperately as I do. 

I'm a little broken hearted this evening, but never fear, life goes on and you make more life long friends, right? I'm not sure if any of this made sense, but I needed to vent it out I suppose. I literally spent all day thinking about my used to be best friend and that is a time that I can never recover. I love you, Tallon Chappel, I just wish you knew what you were saying good-bye to. I'll miss you. 

Goodnight, World, things always look better in the morning.

Bath time

 

January 30, 2011

Some days you just need to take a bath with candles and bath fizzies haha but be wary of the candles when you blow them out.. as you can see in my picture, that doesn't go over so well. 

Today was lovely and I just felt happy. I haven't felt just plain happy in awhile. I love to spend time with my family, talk to my sister on the phone, play cards for hours, text it up with an adorable boy, a little homework here and there, the church for a few hours with some wonderful people, some Elvis, some Bobby Darin. All in all a pretty wonderful day :) 

I'm off to start another week with a great attitude and I can't wait to get my acceptance letter from Provo!!
Goodnight World. Dear sir, ask me to prom, I'll say yes :)

Animation is the name of the

 

January 29, 2011

My family has started playing cards every night for the past couple weeks because it's just something we enjoy doing together and my mom decided my dog should be part of the game as well. I love moments like these.

 

January 28, 2011

Okay so my computer is giving me so much trouble with this post and I just want to go to sleep so I'll make this kinda short. This is what I occupied my time with during 5th hour today. I write Marty notes everyday and leave them on his windshield because I have to leave school early. I think it's fun and he said that this one is by far his favorite. 

I spent most of my afternoon asleep because I was super cranky to everyone today and all I could think about was sleeping. then I woke up, had dinner with the fam and we went to our wards family home evening night at the church which turned out to be pretty fun. I picked Tyler up on the way and we had a nice little chat. I left there early because I promised Jen I'd meet her at her place to watch a movie and just have solid girl time like we haven't really gotten a chance to do lately. And it was wonderful! I kept thinking about Kelsey's game and how I should have gone, I know it means a lot to her when I do. I wish I could have been more than one place at a time tonight. Love you, Kels, you're a great basketball player. 

Goodnight World, I'm sure I'll see you again in about 12 hours : )

I didn't take this while driving...

 

January 27, 2011

Running on empty, but I can't slow down. 

Well we've come to the end of another Thursday and I'm still alive and kicking. It was looking pretty touch and go there for awhile. I made it on time to seminary today! Tyler brought me white hot chocolate too so it paid off. That boy is trying way too hard to get into my good graces, but I don't mind so much. I finished laying the glass for my first mosaic project and I hope there will be many many more to come, it's so much fun, but I'm sure it will turn into an expensive hobby. But for now, it's wonderful. I left school earlier than normal because I was feeling crummy and kelsey didn't come to school today because she was throwing up.. so I didn't want to take chances of getting sick so I went home and showered and woke myself up a bit, I just had no energy then took some medicine to avoid getting sick and went to work. We had staff meeting as soon as I got to work and it was a crazy day. Everybody was trying to get stuff done and we had 8 zillion patients in the office at all times so it was an adventure keeping everything straight. I did a lot of therapies and coached julie on a bunch of x-rays. I feel kinda bad because my coworker Kristy gets to be a bit much sometimes, I love her but when I reach a certain point I just turn into a jerk and focus on my job which sometimes means I snap at her. She's a sweetheart, I should work on that. I left work a bit early to head to my brothers evening in excellence thing at the middle school, Bob sang the anthem and both boys got awards for being excellent haha they got t-shirts that say "I'm Excellent" I'd totally wear one of those if I got it. haha well tomorrow is friday and I've rambled long enough. 

Goodnight, World. A wonderful weekend awaits us.

Oh how I love those boys : )

 

January 26, 2011

Youth group wasn't particularly enthralling this evening so I decided to go home and get my homework done because I have a test tomorrow, little did I know that my dad had taken all the priests to my house to teach them how to cook, So I walked in and they all freaked out and held me hostage in the living room while they finished all their shenanigans. When they finally let me free they were all milling around in the kitchen like nothing was up so I went to drop my stuff off in my room and this is what I found. They kinda followed me to see my reaction and I just smiled, those boys do love me haha Cache asked what happened to my room and then said whoever did it must love me a lot. aww haha they made me a banner with goofy stuff all over it. and left me a beautiful mess to clean up when I get a moment... haha if I ever get a moment. I'm really glad they did this, it's exactly the day brightener I needed. 

Today I got a massage :) it was wonderful I feel so much better. I got an 88 % on my chapter test in math. I had a wonderful day working with Jen. It was busy and ran smoothly and we just had a fun time. I absolutely love that girl!! and she's getting a house!!!!!!! :) I can't stop thinking about it :) haha life is good, I'm happy and I love leaving notes on peoples windshields. 

Goodnight World, If I ever get my homework done I'll get to sleep too haaha

I feel inspired

 

January 25, 2011

I almost already feel like I've made it through a whole month of taking pictures and posting them on here. I love it! I feel so inspired and it's not like I go looking for things to photograph, they just happen upon me at the most perfect moments. This one in particular Was today when I was rummaging around in the art closet again trying to find more things to make my mosaic everything it needs to be.  I didn't even notice it at first, but when I turned around it was arranged so perfectly, you can't set up some moments and this was one of those chance encounters. 

As the day draws closer that I will receive my acceptance letter from BYU-Provo I get more and more excited! My mother and I had a nice little chat about it and were all smiles the whole time, I can't wait to hear from them. It's going to be so wonderful! I know that none of this would be possible without my heavenly father who is looking out for me and watches as I go to seminary, school, work, church, activity and all the other places I go to make sure I'm doing it right. I am so thankful to him. In my patriarchal blessing it says that I'm to keep a journal. and I have written many pages, but this is my new journal. I love it, and my hands and wrists hurt a lot less when I'm done. And it will always be here. It's lovely. I'm in such a great mood. 

Now I'm off to do my math review so I can pass the chapter test tomorrow! I passed the quiz today with an 83!! :) wish me luck! 

Goodnight, World, Until tomorrow :)

Another manic Monday

 

January 24, 2011

This may not be my best shot, but I like it just the same. I was adventuring into the second room of our art storage closet and being one of the more "advanced" students me and the girls get free reign of those materials. So searching for something I could use for my mosaic was an adventure. I'll be sure to post that as my picture of the day when I complete the project, I hope it turns out beautiful. We'll see.

Today was a good day, except all I wanted to do was to come home and lay in my bed.. which I'm doing so it works out, wish for something long enough and hard enough and it'll come true, right? haha like my acceptance to Provo. I'm just waiting for them to confirm it. I can't wait to go there, it's going to be wonderful to be that close to family and good friends like miss Brittany Fishback. Oh those wonderful children, they have been my stalwart friends my whole growing up, her, Tyler and Chris. I don't know where I'd be if they hadn't shown up in my life when they did. They are truly wonderful friends and I'm so grateful that God sent them my way. 

I've got a date with Mr. Sandman

Farewell for now, World.

The days get shorter the longer I'm in Alaska..

 

January 23, 2011

This is my brother, although he's 6 years younger, don't let that fool you.. he still looks like the older brother, especially when we stand next to each other. This boy is going to accomplish great things in life. I love you, Bob :)

Today is a strange one

Due to unexpected difficulties my laptop has decided to malfunction, so I'll be back blogging again in no time as soon as I figure out how to fix it. No big deal, just uploading this post from my phone, too bad pictures don't work on this thing too, if anybody knows how to fix laptops let me know haha

Pregnancy. Wow.

January 22, 2011

I just needed to take 4 hours of my Saturday afternoon to go adventuring alone and here is what I found. Anchorage looked really beautiful across the water and I want to find more places that will make beautiful pictures. 

I was informed just a moment ago that one of my childhood friends who was my best friend for a better part of middle and high school is pregnant. And I'm so unbelievably disappointed. No one is virgins anymore and it's just sad. I can't stand this constant talk of sex, drugs and alcohol.I'm sick of this world of being a high school senior, I want to live in my own little bubble in my own home with my husband and children and some day I will. 

Sorry for the lashing.. I'm just gonna go hang out with my parents. Whoo Saturday night. 

Goodnight World.

So guys, I got my acceptance letter from BYU-Idaho today... :)

 

January 21, 2011

This was just too good of an opportunity to pass up, here in this recital is the classic motherly affection towards her lovely son as he plays sweetly on the piano that portrays their happy content little family through the art of photography. 

So as the title of this post states, I got my acceptance letter from BYU-Idaho today. Although it is not the particular school I want to attend, It's still exciting because a university out there wants me and has accepted me as one of their own. Silly I know, but these are the thoughts that go through my head. 

Today was lovely, I had a total power nap during school, finished a book for the first time in ages, spent much time with great friends, spun brody's on the lake, almost got busted by the rent-a-cop, lot's of laughter, goofiest pictures you can imagine, a nice chat with a wonderfully dashing friend, the most random group of people you will ever get at pandemonium, some songs, some dancing, some chatting, some tardiness to the curfew gods, some shmoozing of the parents, some sleepy times. I wish all days could be this exhilarating and contentedly exhausting. Tomorrow, I'm going to take a me day and not even change out of my pajamas, I'm going to text like I never have before, till I'm sick of it. I'm going to watch more movies than ought to be allowed, there will be much munching and little movement, it's about time for one of those days. I can't keep up with this hectic pace. I've only got a few more of these days left for me and I might as well enjoy it while I can. 

Goodnight, World. Until we meet again, you'll be in my heart.

Broken Glass, Like Broken Hearts

January 20, 2011

This is what happens when you mosaic for weeks in art class.. Some days just are correct for these things, life just gets better and better

The day it snowed.

January 19, 2011

Some days you just have to sit around in parking lots and watch the snow fall... then spin brody's like mad :) The sereneness in this photo makes me wish moments like these happened constantly. On to the next two days I've been too busy to post.

A day to remember

January 18, 2011

I wrote many beautiful things that now have gone into the world of cyberdom because I'm an airhead and pressed a stupid button, so let it be known that I love Kelsey Cottle and I'm thrilled she is my best friend. We spent the day thrift shopping, exploring, taking an endless amount of pictures, eating t-bell, discovering area 52 that we will return to :), meeting new people, laughing about humans, eating delicious thai food, bonding with great women and trespassing way more than should be allowed haha

Another day has passed and gone, I suppose reality had to come back to bite me again.

Goodnight, World.

P.S. I love you Chris Milstead for always reading my blog : )

I love this

January 17, 2011

My family fills my life with smiles and tears, they comfort me when I need it and always have a home ready for me to come back to. I appreciate that more than they know at the end of long days. My father is a goof and has a ridiculous ball that he uses to make his back feel better, here he is stuck on his head :) instead of helping my whole family waited for me to snap the picture bahaha I love you dad.

Run Fast

January 16, 2011

The lights are on, but nobody's home. This is the cache that is on my older brother Casey's grave. We try to visit him every sunday after church. His best friend and him were working on it before Casey left us and when he died his friend finished it for him and it still stands there as a symbol that true friendship and love never die. All of Casey's friends have since moved away or gone down not so great paths, but not a day goes by that we don't remember him and wish he was still here laughing with us. I miss you, bro, I'll see you someday. It's things like that that just baffle me that people don't believe there is a God or life after this one or whatever you believe. What do you do when your loved ones pass on? and they all will at one time or another, how do you keep on living when they have gone on unless you have some kind of faith? There is nothing that is such a great testament to me that there is something more to this life than when it ends at death.

No school tomorrow, going to be a great day of work.

Adios, World.

Seminar Day

January 15, 2011

Alright so this tea was actually super disgusting, but it made for a great picture.. and I didn't even set it up that way. I've gotten so bad. We spent hours at this conference and my mind kept reverting back to my picture of the day and all the possibilities I had to make it amazing. The captain cook hotel it full of kodak moments. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot in that class, it's just a long time to sit around in stiff chairs.

Ooh so sad news, Mo prom and School prom are on the same day.. Super sad about that one. I had fantastic plans brewing in my mind to go to mo prom with one of my new friends who is super fun, then go to school prom with all of my new and old friends, it is my senior year after all and I do believe it should be an amazing event. Even if the music sucks, the DJ needs a life and there is fornication going on at every turn of head, but if you are with good people, you can make any situation exactly what you want it to be. I have high hopes and I will not give up on Prom just yet.

I'm off to watch the Notebook, Scumbag, I might dream of you.

Goodnight, World.

So tired of love songs

January 14, 2011

With each new day it gets more and more difficult to not tell the girls I'm tackling this kind of amazing feat if I do say so myself. Today I had so many opportunities to tell so many people that are close to me, but I feel like if I tell them then it loses a bit of its uniquness. Sure I know plenty of other people who decided they were doing this as well, but I want to set myself apart from them, this is my project. Simply because others are doing it at the same time does not make this any less special to me. I love taking pictures and I think I'll go on and pursue this at a college level because I take these with my iphone, I can only imagine what I could do with a nikon or canon, hmm

goodnight, World. class all day tomorrow with my coworkers, woot!

Last post today, I promise

January 13, 2011

My personal favorite, probably because I spent a lot of time on this one. This is my lovely sculpture I've been working on in art for the past two weeks. Everything just worked out and I finished it today. You can't tell but I completely broke off the bottom part of it.. that was a sad moment. but I fixed it all up lovely.

Today was interesting. Never a dull moment at Lucas Chiropractic. Our heater as well as our backup heater blew out with this windstorm that we're having yet again. I wish it would just snow. So it was freezing temperatures in our office all day long. It was definitely an adventure to see which ones of us could wear the most clothes haha I think I won. I've started exchanging letters through leaving them on each others windshields as a means of communication. It's been quite fun and is getting sillier by the day. I hope we keep it up for awhile. I'm in such a great mood, I think I'll go to bed now before I ruin it haha

Goodnight, World!

January 12 :{)

Just one moment of the many millions that this girl has laughed out loud at life. It's not something to be taken seriously, nobody makes it out alive anyway. Her in all of her beauty and grace understands that. I love you bestie :)

This is what happens when your internet doesn't work for days on end..

For January 11, 2011

The picture quality isn't all that great, but these two are quite a pair and as kelsey says I was "creepin' on them" Cw was clearly very into his conversation. These poor souls have no idea they are on a blog for the world to see. bahaha

It's a Nikki dog kinda day

My adorable dog always makes me smile no matter how bad the day has been, she always is there when I need her. Life is good today, between silly seminary conversations, giggling all day with my best friends, working my butt off, leaving notes in peoples windshields :), catching up with my coworkers, taking silly photos, talking to my favorite person in the world and spending time with my brothers. I am so blessed.

Goodnight, World.

Mamma Said there'd be days like these.

This picture is not my particular favorite, but that's probably just because I'm in it. I have been the best of friends with a Mr. Dallin Beus for some years now and when I turned 16 he gave me the silliest present. He'd been asking me for weeks what to get a girl for her birthday, so I told him flowers are never a bad idea, stuffed animals usually do the trick too, cards are usually smiled upon and if she really likes one particular thing, get her something that has to do with that. So he got me fake flowers, a funny card, a bunch of smiley face stickers and this wonderful stuffed animal in the photo. I arranged it like this because this silly dog is always right there watching over me while I sleep. I may be 18 years old, but I will never grow out of sleeping with stuffed animals.

Today I wanted to get a lot more accomplished than I did.. But it was a grand day, I went to church and spent time with my family. I've got a pretty awesome family and they will all be back together in April. I can't wait. Andrea is coming back from her mission in England and Linnea is coming back from her first year as a freshman in college. Life is good. and not long after that I graduate and my Christopher will be here :) It's going to be splendid! That day is going to be wonderful and I can hardly wait!!

Off to do homework like a good little girl, peace out, World.

I'd say I took full advantage of this day.

Jessica Ziter and I spent a few hours while the sun still lasted and just went on a photoshoot, nothing in particular, but this place is turning out to be one of my favorites. Mostly because it is highly illegal to be there... haha and I'm kind of a rebel.

I had a fantastic day. It started with a trip to the temple then got a lot accomplished at home and spent time with my brothers and mom. Jessica showed up at my house to spend time with me and we took off. I showed her all of my favorite places around Wasilla, all the little side roads that lead to beauty that I've found in my many hours of driving aimlessly around alone. I went to Kelsey's basketball game which wasn't the greatest, but we beat Colony! Afterwards me, her and her boyfriend Erik all sat and chatted. Those two are the cutest couple, they are just so sweet to each other and I love how they interact with each other, as well as interact with me. Some things are just right. After the game I had a couple hours before I had to be home and there was a church dance, so I decided to go. First off I got asked if it was my first dance, implying that I am 14... I'm 18 years old. I spent the next two hours laughing with one of my most dear friends, Marty Foster. As well as Jolee Fife, we go wayyy back :) Marty has been stuck in Idaho for over a week so I was thrilled to see him again. Life is good, I think it's probably the best thing that I didn't post anything last night. I was in a sour mood till I woke my Chris up and he cheered me up till 2 am.. it was a looong night. I couldn't sleep after that, mostly because my mind was going 800 miles a minute. I am ready for bed and excited that I am so blessed with all of my wonderful friends and loved ones, I have so many things to be thankful for and try to remember all of them in my prayers.

Goodnight, World.

Supposed to be for January 7

I am in an improv troupe that performs the first friday night of every month. We do skits and I thought this photo correctly depicted the feelings we were all having that night. Of those wonderful lyrics to Eternal Flame.

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. can you feel my heart beating? do you understand? Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming or is this burning an eternal flame?

This was not my favorite show, but those kids know what they are doing and we have fun doing it.

As things just get more and more crazy in this dang head of mine..

I was listening to Pandora today and one of the albums was labled, music for the healing arts. I would like some of that music in my life. Sometimes the simplest of ways to say something helps it the most. My thoughts are all scattered today. It has just been one weird day, I wish things just made sense all the time. My photo for the day is a moment where things made sense and we all got along for a moment. These are my closest friends, Kelsey to my left and Yolanda to my right. These girls get me through even when I feel like strangling them. I thank God for them every day of my life and am so happy I get to graduate with them this year. Life is painful at the moment, but good the rest of the time.

Good day, World. I'm going to watch me some basketball tonight!

Because Chris is a big baby...

Now this photograph doesn't go along with my diet, but I decided that since it seems to go along with what kelsey seems to be into at the moment and I spent all day with her, it only made sense to take a picture. We spent an hour sitting at this table today talking about life and love, stresses and successes, trips and college, anything and everything. I love that girl.

Because Christopher Milstead ( my most favorite person ever, but don't tell him that ) read my blog and all he had to say about everything I write and think  and take pictures of was that I hadn't mentioned him by name, so there you go babe, you have officially been recongnized on my blog, I hope you can sleep better tonight. And I need you to start working on that wife and three kids if you're going to have them at my graduation. Love you.

Today was fantastic and I'm more than ready to graduate. I can make it through the next semester then I'll be ready to get out of here for sure. Remember me when I go, that's all I ask.

Goodnight World, there are rough seas ahead.

If they ever plant a field of E pluribus Unum, I wanna be the one they send out to prune 'em

Me and Kelsey have had planned for some time now to go on a road trip, just us, this summer. I've been saving all my nickles, dimes, pennies and quarters to be able to afford gas and all that for our trip, so far in just change I've saved $38.31, I find that pretty impressive considering it kinda started out as a mistake... haha oh well, guess it never hurts to have some extra change lying around. I posted both these pictures because My dad and brother couldn't pick between the two, these are just me fooling around.. I always want to be a little girl and have fun.

I just have to let something out for a second, this project is kind of a secret and as such even my closest friends don't know of it. It's not like it's a big deal I just think it's something cool that I'd like to share with pretty much no one, kinda like my blog. So I had a little jealousy when a few friends were discussing all the different aspects of taking photos and how to do certain things, I just go with it, and if it turns out well then it's a good thing, don't get me wrong, I am learning too.. I just got jealous I suppose. I'm being silly again, I'm off to bed after this first day back to my last semester in high school. It's going to be a long one, that's for sure. I almost just wish I could skip it and work the whole time, I do love my job.

Goodnight World, Tomorrow the things will look brighter.

I work at Lucas Chiropractic so I spend a majority of my days there. Especially when I don't have school. I figured a picture of my boss' desk adequately described that nothing can be staged as perfectly as the real thing. Sometimes there is definite order to chaos, and sometimes we just hope there is a method to the madness.

Goodnight, World. It's back to my last semester in high school tomorrow.. I hope I can make it!

Day 2, I was having a hey I haven't taken any photographs moment.
I wish to be the queen of hearts, I want to love and be loved. The greatest thing, you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. I could learn a thing or two from this lady.

365

Like many others before me I have decided to participate in a photo for every day of the year. Some days, like this first photo will have to be from my phones camera and therefore probably not be the best quality, but I'm getting the hang of it. This is probably the most important year of my life and I want to document it as best I can While still remembering to not center my life around such things, I will be stalwart in taking photographs of that which best depicts my day or my particular interest in that day. I think this will be a lovely adventure and I'm so grateful to already be starting.
This particular Photograph was taken at the stroke of midnight ringing in the new year and getting me even more excited for things to come. Happy 2011, It's gonna be a good one :)

It's a brand new year!

Hey everyone, Happy New Year!
Just a little update on the past couple days. I've been pretty busy with all the new years happenings. Yesterday after I got off work I came home to spend some time with my family because I haven't been able to do much of that lately. I ended up falling asleep to a movie we were watching only to have my mom wake me up a couple hours later to tell me it was two hours later than it actually was so I jumped up all scared then looked at the clock.. haha good one mom. I got ready to go out and put on make- up for the first time in weeks, I just haven't been a big make-up person lately. Not that I don't like it, I just got bored with looking the same everyday I suppose. Anyway I promised Tyler I would pick him up so we went to Jess' house for her new years party with some of the greatest people you will ever meet. We had so much fun dancing around the bonfire and sacrificing things and watching silly movies and laughing at each other and just being friends. We had to leave around 11 to go get fireworks.. it was awesome! Rachels mom was working at a firework stand so we went to meet her there and got some of the best fireworks ever. It was fantastic! the firework stand put on a show then we went to a lake by my house to put on our own. It was really dark and quite before we got there haha Then four teenagers were unleashed on it :) We let the boys take control of the fireworks while we laughed and realized we graduate this year and there will never be another time like this. Those realizations are the scariest and the most exciting. I want to move on with my life, but I will dearly miss all those I leave behind when I go. How sad, but exciting at the same time! we were making a lot of noise and didn't really know what we were doing so every time one of them would go off, we'd scream lol I hardly ever scream, but that was one of those instances.  Towards this end a man that we refer to as douchebag flashlight guy came out onto the lake and was hollering at us. just as he said "it's two in the morning, people are trying to sleep!" Our firework blew up and make a really loud noise haha it was perfect timing! then we left because the boys had to be home. Overall it was a fantastic night and great start to 2011!
Now I'm on the way to go out to lunch with Jennifer and My mother and then see Tron! :) Great times to be had by all, I'm sure you'll hear more from me later.
Happy New Year, World.