"It's was only a kiss" understatement of the century.

 

August 15, 2011

After FHE tonight I couldn't go home immediately so I went to the temple, nothing like a beautiful majestic building to make you ponder life and love and the pursuit of happiness. Lately when I pray, I know someone is listening, I just wish I heard back from that being, just once. 

There's no way all this could be a ruse, if we don't have a purpose in our lives to live, then why be here at all? 

I have been listening to this song a lot lately, defying gravity. It's been fun to think about what I am capable of. 

"I think I'll try defying gravity, kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity" 

The simplest song or photograph makes me so very homesick and I tear up quite often recently. I know this is where I'm supposed to be for now, but it's still dreadfully difficult. I know that the unemployment thing is what's weighing me down, and I'm relieved that someone I care for dearly is the only one who hasn't pestered me about it. Finding a job is difficult and when I find one I'm sure I'll let everyone know as soon as I do. Just stop asking please. 

If it's possible I feel more muddled now than I did when I began writing this particular entry. 

I really ought to be getting to sleep, I'd like lovely dreams of better times and lots of good friends. 

I miss having good friends. I was thinking about Rachael getting married and all and I honestly have no idea who I would ask to be my maid of honor or bridesmaids if it was me getting married. Granted that's a long way off, but still. hmm. 

As always, thanks for reading, I'm dreadfully sorry if I've muddled you too. haha 

Goodnight!